Life has been a happy journey of learning how to be a mom since we've come home. Walter has thrived, gained weight to the accord of jumping from the 3rd percentile to the 40th or so. Yes, he is strictly breastfed and yes it is normal for breastfed babies to eat every 2-3 hours. He has not got sick yet, probably because he is in lives in a protected environment, I am sure the world wildlife federation would be impressed with how protected this child is. Our pediatrician (and every pediatrician we have had from Vancouver) has warned us of a life of solitude with premies who have BPD. They aren't kidding. Don't bring him around people who have colds, don't bring him around other children, don't bring him to public events or malls or grocery stores, but otherwise lead a happy normal life. Hmmmm....time for this social butterfly to sit back and enjoy the surrounding four walls. Did I mention we had moved to a house downtown (pulpmill and air particulate central) and enjoyed a forest fire smoke filled summer? Needless to say all those visions pre-baby of summer strolls every day, days at the beach, and hanging out with all my other mom-friends have vanished to be replaced with weekend outings to gramma and grampa's (when they aren't sick). I kind of thought the pediatrician may be exagerrating a bit and thought to test the waters. Upon entering superstore with a bundled babe, I quickly became aware of the harsh reality surrounding me. Around every isle was screaming germ-infested kids, snotty nosed and touching everything. There seams to be a sign around my Walter's head that says "look how cute I am, please come and touch me" as a variety of strangers stop to oooh and ahhh at the baby and grab his hand (that he later crams into his drooling mouth). Ok, so no more stores. So no more shopping with mommy.
We did try some family outings which went quite well. Aunt Cynthia's wedding in Quesnel was Walts first introduction en masse. He had a great time, he got cuddles all day from his great gramma, uncle keith and auntie judy, played with his second cousins, enjoyed the festivities. The reality of bringing a premie out to an event who has previously been cloistered became evident on the 1.5 hour car ride home that night. All that over-stimulation made for an irate, screaming baby. Hence our introduction to gripe water. And our first outright all night colic fit. Uncontrollable, hysterical, oh-my-god-what-is-wrong-with-this-kid type crying. Lesson learned.
So then we tried a trip to meet great gramma and grandad O. A quiet weekend spent enjoying the company of my grandparents. A good time was had by all. Walter thoroughly enjoyed the time and the change of scenery. He did great in the car ride. He only started to scream when we got close to PG ( I don't blame him, I used to have similar feelings of dread coming back here :) )
So we live a quiet life, a life I never dreamed of but one in which I am so happy that its scary! Who knew underproductivity and social reclusion could be so gratifying? Just seeing Walter live and learn, grow and develop brings me all the satisfaction that I never had in my busy, selfish old life. It takes having a baby to really appreciate small accomplishments. I never really realised what little miracles they really are, and I think some parents take for granted every milestone their child reaches. The ability to reach for a toy, make eye contact, roll over, babble...these are all valuable treasures that cause such stress and anxiety in parents who have a child with potential developmental delays. You see no new tricks for weeks, listen to my parents concerns, become anxious that you may not have a "normal" child, and then BAM, he turns a corner (or rolls over) and he is where he should be. That is the bottom line. He is where he should be, for him. And he'll grow and develop on his own tangient, at his own speed, of his own accord. He is here, he is growing and developing, he is smiling. That is enough for me.
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